Taking inventory of my strengths and weaknesses as I go looking for my “pie”.
Among strengths: Team player, strong-willed, strong spirit, loving. I have always done what’s needed to get done. If there’s a need, I’m your girl. I thrive on need because I thrive on being needed. That last statement will no doubt show up under weaknesses as well. It’s a double edge sword that has cut me more than once.
Among Weaknesses: self-doubt, feeling less valuable in a team setting, not establishing my own boundaries for what I will and won’t accept, and let’s not forget the above mentioned… I thrive on being needed.
My husband and I have tried our hand at several different businesses over our marriage. Nearly twenty years ago we bought into a franchise system that is male-dominated. I was raised to work hard and get the job done, and although I love hard work, not a week goes by that I won’t have a male customer mention that I am kind of a fish out of water. I have two answers on standby for them, one is “In my next life I’m going to work in a bridal shop.” The second being “I have a great pot roast recipe if you’re interested.” This generally garnishes a laugh but laughter is not the point of the comment. It’s an outward expression of what I am feeling and my frustration in knowing that I am kind of a “fish out of water.” I have said for years I would love to work at a bridal shop, and I do plan one day to try my hand at that. I would like to do something completely different than what I am doing now, and nothing is more opposite than being around beautiful dresses….As for the pot roast, well I’m a pretty good cook so there’s that.
Things I know for sure: the days go slow but the years go fast. It’s not so easy to move away from what pays the bills it’s easier to stick with what you are comfortable with. I’ve worked with my husband and son in our business for over eighteen years, that wasn’t the plan but it was what I felt was right. We have recently added some real estate to our lives and I have enjoyed the creative side of promoting the property that we rent. It has taken me into a new comfort zone where I feel I am a key player.
Awhile back I posted this photo of my hands on my Facebook page. I was feeling defeated and ugly and the comments I posted with the photo reflected that. A few minutes later my brother in law said it was national “no complaints day” so I thought about that photo long and hard and put a new Facebook post up that said the following:
“These are my beat up hands. They work fine, they are strong and abused but they rarely fail me. These hands have bathed my babies, cooked a million meals for those I love- held my Grand kid’s hands and several great gin and tonics. These hands have let me scale a cliff in Costa Rica, held my sister’s hands when I thought we were being led to our slaughter and rubbed my Mom’s feet as she passed on to heaven. Thanks, hands”
Every word of that is so true. My glass was half empty when I looked at my hands that day until I realized how full my heart was.
These are the same hands that are going to lead me into all of my next adventures. Among them is figuring out a way to work at a bridal shop, turning a horse trailer into a beautiful bar, doing some party planning and who knows maybe that retreat will someday exist but for now top of mind is writing this blog. That’s a small list of a million ideas that go through my head on a daily basis. It’s the creative entrepreneur in me that can’t stop thinking of things to do. These hands will also be with me as I love my grandbabies, spend time with my husband and children and be part of every victory and defeat that is yet to come. I am grateful for these beat-up hands.
Till next time- Erin
