I can recall with uncanny detail the days of 1972- Christmas time to be more accurate. I had received a fisher price boat from Santa, and man did I love that thing. A life vest that would fit a dog? What? I thought it was hilarious. I loved the ridged bounce off the diving board with the circle lip that would hold the dog until I was ready to plunge him into the bubbly water below. There were yellow deck chairs for the people of the boat to lay in and it was how I loved spending my time, in a bubble-filled tub that would get cooled off so many times my mom would have to come in repeatedly to add more hot water as my fingers became prunes.
Outside of the tub, there was coloring. Ahhh, the good old days.
Living in Illinois as a child I spent many an afternoon in the winters playing inside at the kitchen table avoiding the harsh Midwest weather. Our family table was where I could create. Our kitchen table was magical with paper, coloring books, and crayons. My Mom would wash dishes or do other kitchen chores while Elvis played for hours on the record player. The whole kitchen smelling of pine- sol and life was good.
Coloring and creating was my “thing”, and within that was the Crayola that had been given the name “Cornflower Blue”. It was my favorite. To this day I literally feel happy just thinking of that color. I loved how the slightly gray coloring pages were just rough enough that the color would come off the crayon with little effort, and oddly enough when I think back on my childhood I often think of days spent creating with this color of crayon.
As easy as it is for me to recall the past, it’s equally as easy for me to envision the future. Which brings me to this point. Your past filled with dreams and memories from it can help shape your passions. I am happy when I think of the feelings I had in that old kitchen. To this day if I am feeling low my sink at home will be filled with warm water and Pine-sol-because I want to be that kid whose Mom is still here. I want to be the carefree kid who can smell Pine-sol mixed with Cornflower Blue crayon. So as I follow through with the vision this is what I see.
The property next door to my home is empty. I can sit on my back deck with a drink in hand and visualize turning it into a retreat. There will be small cabins, just big enough for a bed and two sitting chairs. Space will be filled with Shabby chic decor and each room will be finished with a framed coloring book page that had been colored in Cornflower blue. Somewhere on a small shelf will be a few antique toys and I wouldn’t be surprised if my old friend Mr. Dog wouldn’t be standing tall wearing his life vest in at least one of these cabins. On the small front decks of each cabin I will provide seating with some flower pots, and it will be tranquil. Cornflower Blue retreat will also have animals in a small area with a tiny barn and split rail fence. Two alpaca’s named Elvis and Priscilla (shout out to my early Elvis memories) goats, and seven chickens one each that my Grandkids can pick out and name. Evenings will find guests sitting around the fire pit with drinks and s’ mores will be made. These days that I describe are as vivid to me as the day’s that I remember and they bring me joy to think about. Imagining my guests sitting under a pavilion for meals that I have prepared at my house. Evening entertainment of music and storytelling- I can picture it all.
I have taken this vision as far as making a business flyer- it’s very simplistic but it’s a visual reminder of a dream. It makes it all make sense. If Cornflower Blue Retreat never comes to fruition then so be it- but to me, it’s here. It’s in my mind as a dream that has come to life.
This to me shows how something as small as a childhood crayon can become a passion. Think about what makes you happy. Something as small as a crayon, when you follow it through can become an idea that is bigger than you even realized it could be.
So what was it? As a child did you love to draw, play in the grass or go on long walks with your Dad? Did you build forts, bake cupcakes or do science projects all day in the kitchen? What could that lead you to today if you thought it through?
If you were not blessed with a childhood that brought you peace and good memories than think back to where you went in your mind to escape. Did you tell yourself that when you were the adult you were going to get in a car and drive/explore? Were you going to be in a band or learn how to fly a plane? You are still here, and the good news is you are the adult now.
Here’s to taking one step today to finding what it is you want to do. Grab the fork and look for the last piece of pie. It is yours to take!
Till next time- Erin
