Eighties wedding

Not long ago, I discussed with a friend the difference between my eighties wedding and today’s weddings. This brought up some fun and interesting topics and gave me the platform for this post…..

My wedding photos didn’t get a single “like” on Facebook. There were no heart emojis…not a single comment.

For this, I am forever grateful.

I don’t know how brides nowadays handle the pressure, between Facebook and Pinterest there‘s a lot of pressures to be met. As much as I enjoy both platforms I think they’ve ruined today’s weddings.

This summer I celebrated thirty three years of marriage. It’s hard to wrap my head around that number. My Dad has always said “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?” If I look at time passed from that perspective, I honestly would say it feels like maybe twenty years had passed. It’s a blessing to be able to say it’s been thirty three (Thirty good, the other I shall refer to as character building)

In today’s Facebook/Pinterest world brides are sold the fairy tale early. There are boards being made that are beyond reality and certainly over budgets. The thought of it is depressing.

Brides in the eighties were not worried about what the world would see on social media, and can we all give a big “Thank you Lord” for that! Can we also all agree that eighties bridal wasn’t really Facebook worthy? So, if your biggest concern is what the world will see while viewing your photos on social media… seriously stop yourself. If at the end of the day you’re married to the person you couldn’t live without ~ your day has been a success.

My wedding was July 1986~ I was eighteen and my husband was nineteen. That in itself is a challenging way to start a marriage. The cards were stacked against us, boy is it good that we are both stubborn.
I do not recall having a budget for our wedding, to this day I have no idea what our wedding cost. I know I mentioned that I “kind of sort of knew a lady who baked“ she quickly became our cake lady. I made all the silk flower bouquets- except my own, and my mother in law hand wrote our invitations then they were printed at the printer. I paid for my own dress with my waitressing tips, and I really only recall one conversation about pricing for a banquet hall, it was new, beautiful and twenty two dollars a plate~ that wasn’t going to happen.

During our pre marriage counseling that was required by our church I remember the pastor asking “What do you think you’ll do on your twenty fifth anniversary?” I of course went immediately into party mode. I would plan a great party…yadda yadda …. when I got done with all the details the pastor just smiled and said “Just knowing you see yourself together in twenty five years is encouraging.”

The day of our wedding the air at our church went out. Our guests waited in a hot, sticky chapel. I still remember being anxious to “get on with it” as we waited for my husbands Great Aunt and Uncle to arrive. They of course finally did, and it was game on! As soon as the door to the chapel opened I remember seeing my husband at the front of the church – I saw no one else. I was immediately calm.

We drove to our reception in my folks old Cadillac, tin cans and all. Our reception was held in the top floor banquet room of a Chinese restaurant, there was no theme, no decor unless you count that each table had a table cloth. There would be food, we would sit, we would eat we would partake of under age drinking…we never gave the rest a thought. Phil, the owner of the restaurant had become a first time father that week so our guests pulled in and we’re greeted with a marquee that read “ITS A GIRL” in big block letters. This caused much laughter (and questions). I’m sure some of our guests were surprised that our first child, a son would arrive three and a half years later.

The wedding cake we had commissioned from the gal who worked out of her home fell short of what we expected. It had been all the rage in the eighties to have three cakes that connected by stairs (I have no idea why) our gal of course forgot our stairs, and there sat our pathetic unconnected cakes. We ate it anyway, not a word was spoken about the missing stairs.

I think back to my wedding day often, it was a great day! So many great family members and friends, but not a single thing about it would pass the grade today. There were few requirements back then. Good food, fun music, open bar… that was good enough. I wonder, what would I change from that day if I could? All I can say is I would have stood still more. I would have let it all sink in for just a few minutes~ because the day flies by.

So I look back, I have no regrets that there aren’t any close up photos of the lace on my dress, our rings or my rockin hat. No “first look” photo or anything you’d see today. Today, I can’t even find my wedding album, ya know the one I thought I’d treasure forever. I do have a small brag book filled with Polaroids my husband calls our “poor mans pictures.”

So, I’m glad I didn’t get a single thumbs up, but instead got the man of my dreams, and a lifetime of simple memories. It’s reflection like this that reminds me what’s important in this life that I’m so passionate about.

Til next time~ Erin