Month: September 2019

Yeah!! It’s week five!

Welcome back all you passion seekers! I sure hope you’ve been able to stay on track saving coins, dollars whatever you had to save to reach your one hundred dollar goal!

As I mentioned last week, I finished up early. That had not been the plan but at some point you look around and exhale and realize you’ve got what you need. All in all I came in with a total of about ninety one dollars. By the time I threw in a candle and added in my rug which I don’t believe I mentioned ran me twenty four dollars. I’ve since taken away one of the storage boxes that sat atop my desk and I’ve added in a ceramic tile hand painted by my daughter when she was a child. This add was kind of a must as my Grandkids kept getting into it where it was and I was afraid of it cracking. I think it’s only fitting that my “Mom” tile resides on my desk. Motherhood has been my favorite roll ever. You’ll also notice a wooden sign given to me by my cousins daughter who I love, I wanted it displayed for me and for her, and for all who enter my house~ a little touch of fun!

I should also mention I did not buy the office chair, I stole it from work…It’s okay, I know the boss and he kind of loves me (how blessed is this girl?!?!) I haven’t really been back to work since my heart gave me trouble in March, let’s just say my husband and son have been picking up my slack and I fill in when I can. After I get my next procedure done, I’ll be staying home to babysit my two youngest Grand babies while the adults go to work, an honor I can’t put into words.

So what’s it gonna be, what are you going to put your one hundred dollars towards?

If you never take the first step, you’ll never get there. I’ve said it before but it bares repeating that you can do this and more than that you deserve a life where you wake up feeling excited about being alive. If you didn’t save money over the five weeks, a new month starts tomorrow and a new day is just hours away!! Renew yourself. Renew your spirit, renew your purpose and put yourself first.

With the traveling I’ve been doing lately I’m reminded that when the cabin pressure drops in a plane, you’re told to secure your mask first in order to be helpful to others. Help yourself!

Make it soon!

Till next time~ Erin

Week four is here, how are you doing with saving?
I must say that I’m already done shopping! Ahead of schedule and under budget (can you tell I get a bit impatient) but here’s why.. it’s my writing area!

I’ve wanted one for years and didn’t pursuit it- ya know why? I would have actually had to acknowledge that I had been putting my dreams last. I would have had to make some real changes in the household dynamic, and honestly I don’t think I was ready.

I have my comfort zone, my zone is nice and safe, all the people in my zone know me, I know myself there. I know what my roll as a Wife, Mom, Mother in law and Grandma is, and to shake that up for me was scary and made me anxious. But, than a switch flipped. It really did. I felt suddenly empowered to take on a blog (WOW, was that a misguided power) suddenly I really didn’t care who approved- that’s not to say I don’t care what I post- I post with all my heart, and I throw in a dash of vulnerability, but I did myself a favor and put a post it note next to my desk with these two words “Personal blog.” That was it. Two words to keep it in perspective. I reminded myself that I was doing this for ME to fill my soul, and sure I want you to come along on the journey with me and find your passion~but if you choose not to, I understand that my pursuit of a passion filled life doesn’t cross over into your pursuit, and that’s ok.

…back to the challenge. It’s week four and I’m done. I wasn’t in need of the extra week to save more money as there is nothing else I need for my space. My old dresser has been moved and the old garden gate will have to await a new home~ I love my space.

I rounded out my purchases with a new mouse and mouse pad. I’m actually not a big fan of pink, but I wanted the writing area to shout that it was girlie and by that I mean mine– so I went with pink. I found a white fuzzy rug- a bit small but doable and I searched down a candle with a yummy scent.

So, here it is, home of “The last piece of pie” brings a tear to the eye! 💜

Where are you in this pursuit?
Have you figured it out yet?
What can you put one hundred dollars towards that will ignite your passion and push you to follow your dreams?

Till next time-
Erin

If I had to count the number of times I’ve cried in the shower… I couldn’t. 

I had that thought the other day as someone mentioned to me how strong I was.          Don’t get me wrong I’m a strong woman, of this I’m sure- but even in my certainty of strength, I’m reminded that sadly I have no super human powers. I am not able to leap tall troubles in a single bound, and nothing happens when I yell the word Shazam. 

So, from time to time, I take refuge in the shower. 

While traveling in Texas years ago, I sadly witnessed a woman get killed on the highway. It was raining, and every car on the road had their windows tightly rolled up, yet when her car lost control and was hit broadside by a bus that tore it in two…you could hear the screams of all the other drivers. I’m certain they could here mine as well. Hours later when I arrived at the hotel which had been our destination- I burst into tears telling my folks the story.  A few hours later, after over serving myself some gin and tonics, I sat in the shower crying and eating a snickers bar I had so pathetically begged  my husband to buy out of the vending machine… but that was a very unique circumstance. Those were not the tears of the every day worn down, mentally exhausted woman.

The every day worn down woman is outwardly strong. She’s working, keeping a clean house, keeping her children somewhat in order, and most times either juggling aging parents, a boyfriend, husband or a boss that have their own demands on her time and energy. 

The every day worn down woman, cries alone.   The “strong” women cry alone.

I think out of a need to feel in control, we don’t have our breakdowns in the the public eye. Instead we let our tears merge with the shower suds to go down the drain together.  We emerge back into public looking polished up like old copper.

Nobody is always strong.

Nobody is always strong.

A handful of years ago I had a surgery that went wrong, before I knew it I was the not so proud owner of a colostomy bag, a tired body and a bruised soul. Ive been told I handled it all like a champ, like the good strong girl I’ve always been. I broke down the first night home with my husband and kids despite their best efforts to distract me by playing old Saturday night live skits on YouTube.  After that night, I kept the tears to myself. 

I was “strong.”

It wasn’t until recently, while talking with the husband of one of my best friends that he mentioned his wife, this gal I love, takes refuge in the shower and cries out the days pain. I felt a pit in my stomach over his words, over this practice of crying alone. 

The sympathy I couldn’t muster for myself, I longed for her to have. 

Why do we not allow ourselves the comfort of company when we’re so low? 

Why do we need to cry in the privacy, and emptiness of our bathroom shower?

These are the things I think about, these are things I feel when I want what’s best for those I love. I just need to remember that the list of  people I love, needs to include myself. 

Till next time- Erin 

Recently I spent the afternoon making sock clothes for Barbie Dolls. Making sock clothes is a practice that came from my childhood- then moved up to when I myself was a mom and my daughter and I would rifle through the dreaded mismatched sock basket for something fun enough to turn into clothes. Now, her daughter and I assemble a handful of dolls, and also gather old socks (all these years later, it’s fun that the socks are nearly all colorful and with artwork)

They may have all started out life as a “Barbie” but they are so much more now.
We have the usual three names right out of the gate, Lucy (of course), Cindy and Betsy. The others we try to name but she’s always stuck on these three and eventually naming the rest isn’t important enough for us to worry about.

I’ve often wondered why there’s so much controversy about Barbie. I grew up with loads of Barbie dolls (they say the average girl has a dozen, I believe that to be a low estimate) I did not grow up believing my waist would be disproportionality small or my chest perky and big- I just wanted to play! I think back, and I don’t recall my Barbies coming with pre assigned jobs, although it’s possible they did. If so, that pre assigned job listed on the box would have gone in the trash with the twist ties and cardboard. I probably made them mostly Mommies~ unapologetically.

I guess my dreams were suppose to be Astronaut by day, flamingo dancer by night.
But they weren’t. I think that the sock clothes maybe put it all in perspective. I can’t be sure but my Barbie (who was probably named Kacie…my equivalent of Lucy) was busy hunting for the perfect sock’s to upscale into a posh jumper, a three holed shirt, or If I found an old tube sock of my brothers that wasn’t a dingy mess, a long gown. Kacie wasn’t too worried that the other girls at the party had on the latest colorful gown that Mattel put out- my Kacie, she was sensible and fun. Unique in her quirkiness, she entered every party confident in her sock wrap designs.

I’ll bet that she pursued her passions- she went on to have a house full of kids, she continued with her frugality and made sock clothes for each of them. She met Skipper for coffee or a margarita a couple times a week, she was a good neighbor and a good friend.

So this practice of sock clothes served me well. It served my daughter well, and it’s serving my granddaughter well. We discuss the up-cycle angle and the fact that we are saving a lot of money by not running out to buy new clothes. She has taken it a step further (because my Grandchildren are above average) and has figured out how to create shoes and handbags~ Not once during our clothes making did I get the impression that she will have a damaged outlook on herself. Never does she mention wanting to look just like them, only that designing clothes is fun and later that she might want to have whatever job it is that you can lay on the board with wheels and go under cars. I tell her that’s called a mechanic, and they work on cars. She smiles broadly, shaking her head yes.

The world is her oyster.

Till next time- Erin

Week three of the one hundred dollar challenge?
How are you doing?
If you’re new to the blog, know this…My posts go in order of publish date-so go ahead and seek out part one and two~ or read all the posts and hopefully enjoy getting to know me and my passion. You can double back to the rest of week three right here when you’re done.
Are ya saving money, or still making excuses?
Have you had it to save or have you made arrangements to earn the extra? Hopefully you’re moving forward, after all the rest of the world is not working to fulfill your passion.

Since last week I haven’t had to purchase much to add to my writing area. I’m keeping my eye out for a rug, and in the interest of saving money I have dug up an old desktop computer to use! Just like that, no money spent on a used laptop!

I did get a great deal on a clearance lamp at Lowe’s. Always the bargain shopper~ gotta love those yellow tags.
I love the lamp and it’s great for those three a.m. writing sessions because I’m not kicking on the overhead lights in the living room, waking up the rest of the house.

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I’ve decided to relocate an old dresser I use for storage, and I’ll take down my repurposed old garden fence to open up space to hang my artwork from last weeks post. So the vision will surely come to life by week five.

Change is still being saved, and dreams are moving forward
If you’re stuck, push through… think hard about why you’re letting your passion go unfulfilled. For me it was the idea that something I would be spending a chunk of time on would be for self fulfilling reasons. That seemed to indulgent. It wasn’t going to bring in money, and therefore felt wasteful. I quickly found out that time doing what fills your soul with joy is never wasted.

So I write.

Than, when I’m feeling selfish or wasteful, I write some more.

Till next time- Erin

Six a.m. and I’m already at the second airport of the day. Not a usual start to the day for this homebody. Here I am at O’Hare, if I were traveling with my Grandma Beer she’d ask “Where are they hanging the meat?” My last minute decision to grab my “Grandma” sweatshirt was the best decision I’ve made since throwing out the borderline chicken in the fridge. It’s freezing in here, or maybe it’s the blood thinners talking? Either way, I’m hunkered down wishing I had a blanket.

My hunt for the nearest Dunkin’ was a flop~ I could see it from the seat on my plane while we made our way to our gate but spent two thousand steps looking for it. My lack of sleep will kick my ass later today and coffee, as always is a must! Found a McDonalds, and thankfully the line was a mile long…us humans (sigh) a million choices but we are creatures of habit. My lack of patience leads me to a cafe with Spanish tacos, red roasted salsa and coffee! Worth the twelve bucks they are asking.
Thank you Chicago!

I spent a lot of sleepless time thinking about my blog last night- it was the chicken or the egg effect… could I not sleep because I was thinking about the blog, or did thinking about the blog make me not sleep? Either way, I am surprised by the path it has taken so far- I thought right out of the gate I would be trying out different jobs and business ideas, and I still want to do that. Passing a horse trailer daily that I talk about turning into a bar, redesigning the local ice cream shop in my head for the millionth time readying myself for the day it goes for sale and I can buy it- looking to do more baking and creating this winter… but for now, I hope you’ll stick with me while I tell some stories. While I reminisce out loud.

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I’m surprised that so many of my stories include my mom, and more than that is the fact that they are serious. With a name like “The last piece of pie” you know I thought the posts would be more humorous. Ya just don’t know till you begin to write. All I do know is that gratitude and calmness play a bigger roll in my life since I’ve been focused on my passion. So maybe just maybe the universe is telling me something.

Just this morning before my flight I looked around and thought “How many of these people are traveling and taking time away from their family for a job they hate?” Then I was seated next to a great gal who talked about how much she hates traveling and that leaving her three kids had her thinking about life changes every day. Food for thought, if your morning starts out with doom, and dread for the day- that’s your sign.

Adjust your life, make some changes.

It will be like a Buffett song and your changes in latitude will be your changes in attitude.

Till next time- Erin